According to the authors of “Stop Calling Him Honey and Start Having Sex!” these terms of endearment are the death knell for any passion. Let’s take a look at a typical, hypothetical, relationship.
In the beginning:
Your eyes meet and it is like a thunderbolt. Within a few weeks, you are her “Schmoo” and she is your “Hunny Bunny” and that’s just the way you both like it.
In a way, it’s like your own secret, affectionate language. Nobody else calls her that. You are a special couple and your love and passion runs oh so deep. Really, you’ve never felt this way about anyone before. You both are enamored of one another and try to spend every possible second together. You could care less about anyone or anything else in your life. And the sex? Out of this world. Into the stratosphere.
Five years later: Not so great. You might have sex once a month when “Hunny Bunny” deigns to share the bed with you. You are her “Schmoo” still, especially when she wants you to start a load of laundry.
Now you cringe everytime she calls you “Schmoo.” The worst part of all, you bought a dog a few years ago and she also calls the dog “Schmoo” sometimes. So not only do you feel emasculated, but you feel like the dog. As long as you wag your tail, everything will be fine.
And who in their right mind wants to get busy with a woman who treats you like the dog? Not me. We, as men, want to be masculine. We want to be manly and attractive to our women. Of course, there are times when we are sweet and cuddly with our girls, but that is not how we are all the time. We are also men who like to have sex. It is hard to be aroused when we are using cute little nicknames for each other.So what is the solution? According to the authors of this book, start using each other’s proper names. Start calling each other Cynthia and Richard. Stop calling each other “Poopsie” and “Loopsie” or whatever. See if you can get the spark going again in your relationship. If you are in a new relationship, but a stop to that right now. You might not think it will diminish sexual desire and you’re right — that early in the relationship it won’t. But eventually it will. The reason it doesn’t hurt in the beginnign is that nothing could diminish that first spark of sexual craving, not even an earthquake.
So nix those cutsie names and start calling each other by your real names. It could be a shorter version of your girl’s real name. For instance, if her name is Jennifer, maybe you’ll call her Jen or Jenny, but not Dumplin or something like that.
Although there are dozens of other worthy tips in this book, I’ll share one more with you: make sure you take time to make eye contact with your girl at least once every day for a prolonged length of time.